Down syndrome stereotype

People with Down syndrome are often seen as "happy, loving, and sweet".  As anybody who knows actual people with Down syndrome, they have a full range of emotions and dispositions.  So where does the stereotype come from?

My husband suggested the following hypothesis:
Because children with Down syndrome are disproportionately aborted (or, in some cultures, institutionalized), the parents who choose to keep and raise these children are probably endowed with greater compassion and kindness than average.  And this parenting translates into children that grow up to be compassionate, kind people, regardless of genetics.

This is not a complete explanation.  Children with other disabilities are also vulnerable to abortion and abandonment, and yet children with spina bifida, blindness, or physical deformity do not have this reputation.  I think there is a feedback loop, though.  Children with Down syndrome have characteristics which elicit a different kind of parenting.  And this parenting does seem to encourage the stereotype.

Haftorah Beam - Masei

The Haftorah for this Parshah (last year it was a double parsha, but this year Matot and Masei are separate) culminates the cycle of readings from the 17th of Tammuz to Tisha B'Av (the anniversary of the destruction of both Temples).  These readings follow the course of Israel's fall from grace which caused destruction and exile.

⁵ Thus said the Lord:What wrong did your fathers find in MeThat they abandoned MeAnd went after delusion and were deluded?⁶ They never asked themselves, "Where is the Lord,Who brought us up from the land of Egypt,Who led us through the wilderness,A land of deserts and pits,A land of drought and darkness,A land no man had traversed,Where no human being had dwelt?"

And yet, the final verse promises hope:

Chapter 3

Just now you called to Me, "Father!
You are the Companion of my youth."

Haftorah Beam - Matot

In the haftorah for this parsha, more insights into what makes a prophet:

ו  וָאֹמַר, אֲהָהּ אֲדֹנָי יְהוִה, הִנֵּה לֹא-יָדַעְתִּי, דַּבֵּר:  כִּי-נַעַר, אָנֹכִי.  {ס}	6 Then said I: 'Ah, Lord GOD! behold, I cannot speak; for I am a child.' {S}
ז  וַיֹּאמֶר יְהוָה אֵלַי, אַל-תֹּאמַר נַעַר אָנֹכִי:  כִּי עַל-כָּל-אֲשֶׁר אֶשְׁלָחֲךָ, תֵּלֵךְ, וְאֵת כָּל-אֲשֶׁר אֲצַוְּךָ, תְּדַבֵּר.	7 But the LORD said unto me: say not: I am a child; for to whomsoever I shall send thee thou shalt go, and whatsoever I shall command thee thou shalt speak.
ח  אַל-תִּירָא, מִפְּנֵיהֶם:  כִּי-אִתְּךָ אֲנִי לְהַצִּלֶךָ, נְאֻם-יְהוָה.	8 Be not afraid of them; for I am with thee to deliver thee, saith the LORD.

Haftorah Beam - Pinchas

The Haftorah for this Parshah contains the famous "small still voice" passage:

יא  וַיֹּאמֶר, צֵא וְעָמַדְתָּ בָהָר לִפְנֵי יְהוָה, וְהִנֵּה יְהוָה עֹבֵר וְרוּחַ גְּדוֹלָה וְחָזָק מְפָרֵק הָרִים וּמְשַׁבֵּר סְלָעִים לִפְנֵי יְהוָה, לֹא בָרוּחַ יְהוָה; וְאַחַר הָרוּחַ רַעַשׁ, לֹא בָרַעַשׁ יְהוָה.	11 And He said: 'Go forth, and stand upon the mount before the LORD.' And, behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and broke in pieces the rocks before the LORD; but the LORD was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake; but the LORD was not in the earthquake;
יב  וְאַחַר הָרַעַשׁ אֵשׁ, לֹא בָאֵשׁ יְהוָה; וְאַחַר הָאֵשׁ, קוֹל דְּמָמָה דַקָּה.	12 and after the earthquake a fire; but the LORD was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice.

Interestingly, the verses immediately before and after this are nearly identical.

Before:

ט  וַיָּבֹא-שָׁם אֶל-הַמְּעָרָה, וַיָּלֶן שָׁם; וְהִנֵּה דְבַר-יְהוָה, אֵלָיו, וַיֹּאמֶר לוֹ, מַה-לְּךָ פֹה אֵלִיָּהוּ.	9 And he came thither unto a cave, and lodged there; and, behold, the word of the LORD came to him, and He said unto him: 'What doest thou here, Elijah?'
י  וַיֹּאמֶר קַנֹּא קִנֵּאתִי לַיהוָה אֱלֹהֵי צְבָאוֹת, כִּי-עָזְבוּ בְרִיתְךָ בְּנֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל--אֶת-מִזְבְּחֹתֶיךָ הָרָסוּ, וְאֶת-נְבִיאֶיךָ הָרְגוּ בֶחָרֶב; וָאִוָּתֵר אֲנִי לְבַדִּי, וַיְבַקְשׁוּ אֶת-נַפְשִׁי לְקַחְתָּהּ.	10 And he said: 'I have been very jealous for the LORD, the God of hosts; for the children of Israel have forsaken Thy covenant, thrown down Thine altars, and slain Thy prophets with the sword; and I, even I only, am left; and they seek my life, to take it away.'

And after:

יג  וַיְהִי כִּשְׁמֹעַ אֵלִיָּהוּ, וַיָּלֶט פָּנָיו בְּאַדַּרְתּוֹ, וַיֵּצֵא, וַיַּעֲמֹד פֶּתַח הַמְּעָרָה; וְהִנֵּה אֵלָיו, קוֹל, וַיֹּאמֶר, מַה-לְּךָ פֹה אֵלִיָּהוּ.	13 And it was so, when Elijah heard it, that he wrapped his face in his mantle, and went out, and stood in the entrance of the cave. And, behold, there came a voice unto him, and said: 'What doest thou here, Elijah?'
יד  וַיֹּאמֶר קַנֹּא קִנֵּאתִי לַיהוָה אֱלֹהֵי צְבָאוֹת, כִּי-עָזְבוּ בְרִיתְךָ בְּנֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל--אֶת-מִזְבְּחֹתֶיךָ הָרָסוּ, וְאֶת-נְבִיאֶיךָ הָרְגוּ בֶחָרֶב; וָאִוָּתֵר אֲנִי לְבַדִּי, וַיְבַקְשׁוּ אֶת-נַפְשִׁי לְקַחְתָּהּ.	14 And he said: 'I have been very jealous for the LORD, the God of hosts; for the children of Israel have forsaken Thy covenant, thrown down Thine altars, and slain Thy prophets with the sword; and I, even I only, am left; and they seek my life, to take it away.'

The prophet hearing G*d's voice didn't change any of the actual facts of what had happened.  The covenant had been forsaken, the prophets had been slain, and Elijah himself was still alone and vulnerable.

All that has changed was the meaning attached to these events, and the context in which he placed them.  Elijah was now clear that the might of his enemies -- the wind, noise and fire -- will not prevail.  But his own "still, small voice" will suffice to bring hope to the next generation.

Power Cafe!

I have been out of the blogging loop for the past few weeks because I have been ramping up to unveiling my latest project.  I'm starting a coffee shop!   Rather than just talk about disability rights, and bemoan the lack of opportunity for people with special needs, I decided to do something about it, and put my money where my mouth is.  Power Cafe! will be a coffee shop in the Boston area (location TBD) which will be staffed and run entirely by people with disabilities.  I am working to put all the pieces together, and if all works out, we could open as soon as September or October.

Is this exciting or what?!  Please help make this a reality by contributing to my IndieGoGo campaign, and share with your friends on social media, too!

Thanks so much!!!!

A very special wedding!

Amid all the scary news from Israel, I found this featured on the Jewish outreach site, aish.com:



A testament not only to the spirit of Israelis in the face of external, existential threat in general, but the spirit of inclusion and support for people with disabilities.

Haftorah Beam - Balak

In my reflections on the Torah portion last year, I asked,

Is it G*d who is fickle, or is this an allegory of the uncertainty we feel about attempting to discern G*d's will about important decisions?

The Haftorah portion, in a way, answers this question.

ה  עַמִּי, זְכָר-נָא מַה-יָּעַץ בָּלָק מֶלֶךְ מוֹאָב, וּמֶה-עָנָה אֹתוֹ, בִּלְעָם בֶּן-בְּעוֹר--מִן-הַשִּׁטִּים, עַד-הַגִּלְגָּל, לְמַעַן, דַּעַת צִדְקוֹת יְהוָה.

5 O My people, remember now what Balak king of Moab devised, and what Balaam the son of Beor answered him; from Shittim unto Gilgal, that ye may know the righteous acts of the LORD.

Rabbi Dovid Siegel expands on this:

We now understand why Micha isolated this incident between Bilaam and the Jewish people when demonstrating Hashem's ultimate love for His people. [...] In truth, a father always remains a father during the most trying times and his love for his child is never tainted. Although he may punish his child this too is an expression of love and concern and should never be viewed in any other way. No one should ever forget that the Jewish people are Hashem's children and His boundless love and concern for them will always be there for them.

In this trying time of struggle in Israel, this may be a comforting reminder that Daddy's watching us.

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This is also the source of the idea of "the remnant":

⁶ The remnant of Jacob shall be,In the midst of the many peoples,Like dew from the Lord,Like droplets on grass--Which do not look to any manNor place their hope in mortals.⁷ The remnant of Jacob
Shall be among the nations,
In the midst of the many peoples,
Like a lion among beasts of the wild,
Like a fierce lion among flocks of sheep,
Which tramples wherever it goes
And rends, with none to deliver.
⁸ Your hand shall prevail over your foes,
And all your enemies shall be cut down!

Although many remain oblivious to the prophet's message, the few who tune in to the right frequency will prevail.