Torah Connection - Va-yechi

By a confluence of the common calendar and the Jewish calendar, the final chapter we read in 2012 is also the final chapter of the book of Genesis.  This is the transition from Israel the large family/clan to Israel the People.  The story is told, however, through two deaths: the death of Jacob, and the death of Joseph.

Jacob does not seem to have changed much since his youth.  He still plays favorites with his sons and grandsons, although he does seem to discriminate between them based on character traits rather than subjective affinity.  With respect to his grandsons Ephraim and Menashe, he continues the tradition of favoring the younger over the elder: Kane vs. Abel, Ishmael vs. Isaac, Esau vs. Jacob, Rachel vs. Leah, Joseph vs. his brothers.  He also repeats this in the blessings to his own children: Judah is favored over Leah's other sons, and Zebulun is favored over Issachar.  This is a theme that has dominated Jacob's entire life, and it persists right to the end.

Joseph, on the other hand, has learned true humility and generosity.  After the death of their father, the other brothers fear that Joseph may take vengeance upon them. Instead, he responds,



'Don't be afraid,' said Joseph to them. 'Shall I then take God's place?
Vayomer alehem Yosef al-tira'u ki hatachat Elohim ani.

You might have meant to do me harm [but] God made it come out good. [He made] it come out as it actually did, where the life of a great nation has been preserved.
Ve'atem chashavtem alay ra'ah Elohim chashavah letovah lema'an asoh kayom hazeh lehachayot am-rav.

Now don't worry. I will fully provide for you and your children.' He thus comforted them and tried to make up.
Ve'atah al-tira'u anochi achalkel etchem ve'et-tapchem vayenachem otam vayedaber al-libam.

Jacob and Joseph both express their dying wish to be buried in the land of their forefathers.  Joseph fulfills his father's wish promptly, mourning him with "a very great and solemn lamentation".  Jacob is embalmed and mourned in Egypt for 70 days before being taken with great ceremony to the Cave of the Patriarchs in Hebron.

Joseph, on the other hand, receives no such treatment.  Instead, "...and he was embalmed and placed in a coffin in Egypt." Thus he was left until his descendants carry his remains back to Israel during the Exodus.

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I am thinking of Joseph's words with respect to the recent Russian ban on American adoptions. It seems like a bad thing, but it can also be seen in the context of Russian reforms of its own child welfare system.   At the same time, a proposed amendment to the ban may allow an exception for children with special needs, so that these may get more attention from potential adopters.   Finally, this may create the pressure on adoption agencies and facilitators to address corruption and poor oversight, so that future adoptions are less likely to disrupt or result in child abuse/neglect (as can happen when parents are poorly prepared).

Praying for Ivan and Celine.

Praying for Wyatt.

Praying for Nathan.

And all the ones we know about and don't know about, who wait to be "fully provided for".

 

Heavy on my heart

Even though we have begun the homestudy process, I still feel so helpless when I see these children.  I can't adopt them all, and most of them don't fit the criteria that we have agreed on.  So please, somebody, help them!

Little Sasha, eight years old and still the size of a baby, just transferred to an adult mental institution where he probably never goes out of his crib, is inadequately fed and changed, and where, statistically speaking, he is likely to die within a year:

I first saw 8-year-old Donovan listed under "Additional Children".  Now he has his own listing.  Look how tiny and frail he is!  Can you see his ribs through the t-shirt? I imagine he was "cheerful, sociable" as an infant, but now I doubt he has the energy for that.

Dylan is an adorable 9-year-old, sitting here on a toddler ride-on toy.  I just want to scoop him up!

Back in May I blogged about Nathan, whose eyes still haunt me.

Look what a sweet baby he was.  This is what years in an institution will do to a human being.

The same transformation is evident in Sonny, who went from a cute smiley redhead:

To a frightened child, beaten by the older children (or even the staff) at an institution:

Oh my. I can't take this any more.

Children

The Passover Seder is, first and foremost, a fulfillment of the commandment to "tell it to your children". "It" being, of course, the story of the Exodus. Many aspects of this long and strange ceremony are intended specifically for young children to connect to the story.

One of these is the tale of the Four Sons. The basic outline is: "The Torah is told to four sons: One wise, one wicked, one simple, and one does not know how to ask. The wise one asks, "What are all the laws and customs that G*d has commanded?" -- so you tell him every last detail. The wicked one asks, "Why do you bother with all this?" -- Since he excludes himself, you answer, "This is what G*d did for me when I left Egypt" -- if he were there, he wouldn't be redeemed. The simple one just asks, "What's this?" -- so you answer him simply.  And the one who does not know how to ask -- you must open the conversation, and tell him anyway.

This tale has been interpreted many different ways.  So I will contribute my own interpretation here. They are the different visions we have for our children.

The wise child is the child we all want to have.  He is cooperative and helpful, and eager to follow in our footsteps.

As part of growing up, however, most kids go through a "wicked" phase -- challenging, rebelling, questioning.  We would rather not have to deal with this phase, but we slog along as best we can and hope that our kids grow out of it eventually.

The simple child is handicapped or developmentally delayed.  Before he is born, we dread this child.  "Anything but that, G*d!" we pray.   However, once he is here, we love him unconditionally and give him what he needs.

And the one who does not know how to ask?  That is the unwanted (aborted?) child, the orphan.  He can't speak up for himself.  It is up to us to recognize his humanity, and to bring him, too, to our table.  It is up to us to include him in our lives.


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One of my favorite bloggers, Susanna Musser, just put up yet another amazing post about these voiceless children.    It is her story more than any other that has changed the way I look at this picture:



I remember skipping right over this child when I first started looking at the profiles on Reece's Rainbow.  Too old (7), too clearly needy for me to possibly want to take it on.  Not smiling, probably doesn't walk or talk.  NEXT!

What do I see now?  Now I see his baby picture:


 ....and I imagine his face filling out.  I can even imagine a smile breaking out.  I can imagine those hollow eyes brightening and twinkling.  I can see his arms and legs growing sturdy and strong, so he can become mobile and live out his potential.  We have no medical information on him.  We don't know what other issues he might have besides Down syndrome.  But until we start the conversation, he -- and many others like him -- will remain unheard.