Special needs adoption from a Jewish perspective.

Special needs adoption from a Jewish perspective.

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Ethics of the Fathers Day 12

Oops, I missed yesterday, so I will need to do 2 of these today.

First, to continue with the theme of Friday's post, also from Chapter 1:

Shammai would say: Make your Torah study a permanent fixture of your life. Say little and do much. And receive every man with a pleasant countenance.

In other words, if there is real wrongdoing -- which I am not disputing!  I have no firsthand knowledge one way or the other here -- then taking positive action is better than just talking about it in the blogosphere, and the talking that we do should aim to be civil, and aimed towards said positive action.

For example, in the comments yesterday, I suggested to my anonymous interlocutor that,

  • ... if you have an actionable paper trail, you can sue, which would be more effective than just mudslinging back.
  • You can also coordinate with other families who had bad experiences and make a class action suit, which would be even more effective.
  • Or you can start from the premise that Andrea Roberts is NOT evil, that she is actually trying to do her best and that she sees these circumstances as unfortunate exceptions to a system that works pretty well most of the time.
  • From that perspective, you could once again network with other families with bad experiences but instead of counterattacking, approach RR with constructive suggestions on how to improve the process.
  • You could even start your own advocacy website, and organize it "the right way". You would probably find that it is a lot harder to create something than it is to criticize someone else's efforts. You might find yourself making difficult ethical decisions. You might find that no matter how you decide them, there will be those who will criticize you for it. 

I am not taking sides here, since I don't know the whole story.   I would just like to assume that everybody involved actually wants to do the right thing, and is sure that any venom that they put out is just "retaliation" for some actual wrongs that have been committed. 

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