Haftorah Beam - Devarim

Where the Torah portion focused on the power of words, the Haftorah reading emphasizes actions.  Indeed, after a long diatribe denouncing the people for their evil ways, rejecting their prayers and sacrifices, the prophet suddenly changes his tone:

¹⁶ Wash yourselves clean;
Put your evil doings
Away from My sight.
Cease to do evil;
¹⁷ Learn to do good.
Devote yourselves to justice;
Aid the wronged.
Uphold the rights of the orphan;
Defend the cause of the widow.

¹⁸ "Come, let us reach an understanding,

--declares the Lord--

Be your sins like crimson,
They can turn snow-white;
Be they red as dyed wool,
They can become like fleece."

Not prayer, nor sacrifices, but doing justice, aiding the wronged, and fighting for the downtrodden constitutes true repentance.

Not our children?

Tonight begins Holocaust Memorial Day.
Last Holocaust Memorial Day I posted this.

But this analogy is more personal than I let on.  My maternal grandparents narrowly escaped Poland with their infant daughter (my mom) before the Nazi invasion.  They each came from large families. Between them there were 18 siblings.

18 siblings in 2 families.

When the war was over, only 4 had survived.  My mother's parents, her aunt who escaped with them with her husband and teen-aged daughter, and an uncle who married into a Catholic family.

4 out of 18.

How many cousins would I have had, without this tragedy?  How many 2nd cousins for my children? 3rd cousins?

The Holocaust Memorial in Israel, Yad VaShem, maintains a list of "Righteous Gentiles", non-Jews who, often at great personal risk, helped Jews during the Holocaust and other times of persecution. In many instances, these individuals were personally responsible for the saving of countless lives.  Were the children they saved "their children"?  Were the people they stuck their necks out for "their problem"?

Adoption is hard.  Special needs adoption is even harder.  There are many risks involved.  Furthermore, many people find these children repulsive, and perhaps not worth saving, thus making the job even harder.  Of course, many people felt that way about Jews, Gypsies, and homosexuals.  Many people still do.  Are any of these hardships, risks, obstacles and prejudices anywhere close to what thousands of Righteous Gentiles had taken on to save our people? Are children who are warehoused in substandard institutions any less deserving?  Would my missing cousins have been worth it?

Tikva orphanage update - Please help!

Last year, I wrote an upbeat post about a Ukrainian orphanage for Jewish children, and contrasted it with the abysmal care offered in many state-run institutions.  A Facebook friend shared this update with me:

In a Ukrainian Jewish orphanage, Tikva, economic downturn hits home

Apparently, the economic downturn has hit it hard, and they are in need of donations. Please help and share!

Psalm 80:15-20

Seems like a double-meaning on the word אִמַּצְתָּ. Most translations, both Jewish and Christian, render it as "strengthened", but in common usage it means "adopted".  Hmmm.

:טו. אֱלֹהִים צְבָאוֹת שׁוּב נָא הַבֵּט מִשָּׁמַיִם וּרְאֵה וּפְקֹד גֶּפֶן זֹאת

:טז. וְכַנָּה אֲשֶׁר נָטְעָה יְמִינֶךָ וְעַל בֵּן אִמַּצְתָּה לָּךְ

:יז. שְׂרֻפָה בָאֵשׁ כְּסוּחָה מִגַּעֲרַת פָּנֶיךָ יֹאבֵדוּ

:יח. תְּהִי יָדְךָ עַל אִישׁ יְמִינֶךָ עַל בֶּן אָדָם אִמַּצְתָּ לָּךְ

:יט. וְלֹא נָסוֹג מִמֶּךָּ תְּחַיֵּינוּ וּבְשִׁמְךָ נִקְרָא

:כ. יְהֹוָה אֱלֹהִים צְבָאוֹת הֲשִׁיבֵנוּ הָאֵר פָּנֶיךָ וְנִוָּשֵׁעָה

31 for 21: Torah Connection - Bereishit

Yesterday we read from Bereishit -- the first chapter of the book of Genesis.  It starts with the creation of the cosmos and ends with the genealogy of Noach, and G*d's frustration with the decadence of humanity.

The haftorah portion for this week is from Isaiah, and expands on Israel's role and mission in the world.

First, the link to the Torah portion, G*d as the Creator:

⁵ Thus said God the Lord,
Who created the heavens and stretched them out,
Who spread out the earth and what it brings forth,
Who gave breath to the people upon it
And life to those who walk thereon:

And here is Israel's assignment, the true meaning of being "Chosen":

⁶ I the Lord, in My grace, have summoned you,
And I have grasped you by the hand.
I created you, and appointed you
A covenant people, a light of nations —
⁷ Opening eyes deprived of light,
Rescuing prisoners from confinement,
From the dungeon those who sit in darkness.

 After several verses extolling G*d and Creation, we get to this:

¹³ The Lord goes forth like a warrior,
Like a fighter He whips up His rage.
He yells, He roars aloud,
He charges upon His enemies.
¹⁴ "I have kept silent far too long,
Kept still and restrained Myself;
Now I will scream like a woman in labor,
I will pant and I will gasp.

I love the role of G*d (and by extension, Israel) in fighting injustice both from the masculine and feminine perspective here. The reading continues with an elaboration on G*d's powers, building up to this guarantee of divine protection:

¹⁶ I will lead the blind
By a road they did not know,
And I will make them walk
By paths they never knew.
I will turn darkness before them to light,
Rough places into level ground.
These are the promises —
I will keep them without fail.

These are not promises to make our challenges easy -- just to make them possible.

The "short version" of the haftorah pretty much ends there.  The long version continues, and ends with this explanation of the People of Israel as exemplifying proof of G*d's existence to the nations of the world.

⁹ All the nations assemble as one,
The peoples gather.
Who among them declared this,
Foretold to us the things that have happened?
Let them produce their witnesses and be vindicated,
That men, hearing them, may say, "It is true!"
¹⁰ My witnesses are you

—declares the Lord—

My servant, whom I have chosen.
To the end that you may take thought,
And believe in Me,
And understand that I am He:
Before Me no god was formed,
And after Me none shall exist —

 The bolded section here is often misread in Christianity as referring to Jesus.  Rather, it is the People of Israel who are the chosen servant.  It is the task of every Jew to be a Light Onto the Nations, and to create a community that manifests G*d's glory.

31 for 21: Water and Fire

I suddenly realized that these two metaphors represent one of the main questions in the adoption journey: What is the vision for the adoption?

Some people are "Fire" adopters.  They learn about a country, or an individual institution, or an individual child in dire need, and are driven to rescue the neediest of them.  As the Christians say, "the least of these".  These children may have severe special needs, extreme malnutrition and neglect, and/or be older.  They may take this on because they have medical training that has prepared them for the extra care required.  They may have other children with similar special needs.  Or they may be filled with a sense of commitment and faith that bolsters them to do whatever it takes.  I certainly find these stories inspiring, and wonder if my family and my community could handle one of these.  I wonder how many people would follow that example, rather than write it off as "you're crazy" or even just "wow, I could never do that".

Then there are the "Water" adopters.  They, too, learn about the neglect suffered by children with special needs in developing countries, and are moved to take action.  But they reason, "Let's rescue a child who is still young enough and healthy enough that his/her needs will be more manageable.  Let's rescue a child before they become needy enough to require a "Fire" adopter to be saved."   The babies and toddlers I posted about recently fall into that category, as do most of the children in the 3-5 year old category and many of the 6- to 9-year-olds.  These stories are also inspiring, but in a much more low-key way.  Mostly, they are stories about adorable children being loved by their families and blossoming instead of falling further and further behind in an orphanage.  I can definitely see people in my community being open to this possibility if they saw an example of it.  These stories have a much more normal feel to them.

Which brings us to the final metaphor.

You are walking with your friends and family along the road.  On one side of the road is a lake, filled with drowning children.  On the other side, is a burning schoolhouse.  What do you do? Do you stand there paralyzed because you can't save everyone?  If not, do you run into the fire, swim into the lake, or run down the road ahead as fast as you can so you don't have to hear the cries...?


=========
Religion Connection, for those who want it:

1. We just passed Yom Kippur, when we not only repent of our sins, but we contemplate our own mortality.  We ask,

"who will live and who will die; 
who will die at his predestined time and who before his time; 
who by water and who by fire...."

 2. Proverbs 24:11-12:

If you refrain from rescuing those taken to death and those on the verge of being slain will you say, "Behold, we did not know this"? Is it not so that He Who counts hearts understands, and He Who guards your soul knows, and He will requite a man according to his deed?

More on Secular Humanism

 A thoughtful reader offered the following comments:

==========================

I think that most of my friends who are secular / atheist are committed to creating a world in which children like these are protected and cared for, by supporting economic development, fair practices, working to end poverty.

I admit that this work is more broad than taking the dramatic action of personally adopting a severely disabled child. That does not mean that their contribution to society is less valuable.

Working as a doctor who provides primary care in a suburb is also less dramatic than working as a doctor in a war zone. But suburban children need doctors too. Both are moral choices. We cannot know the ultimate reward for either choice.

I absolutely agree!  That is why I think that that kind of work must be a part of the effort.



Religion, like any ideology, is a powerful force. It can be used for good or for evil. It can motivate people to take great moral action or it can encourage people to be small, selfish, petty and judgmental. Many people use religion in both ways simultaneously -- great generosity towards others like them and great hatred of those who differ, even slightly.

I think this is true about human nature in general.  Yes, religion is a tool, like fire, or a knife, which can be used to create or to destroy.  Obviously, in trying to apply this tool to the purpose at hand, I am not condoning the abuse of the tool.  Also, the purpose of this thread is to figure out alternative strategies for those who are not comfortable wielding this particular tool.

In light of those extremes, is there really something wrong with a rational philosophy of "enjoy life, be kind to others, do no harm"? Should we prefer great good and great evil or a more balanced approach?



Sorry, but I think that this is a false dichotomy.  Of course there is nothing wrong with generic benevolence.  At the same time, I think that it is worthwhile to encourage ourselves and others to go beyond that to whatever extent is appropriate.  I don't believe that this is a zero-sum proposition -- that any good action is inevitably met with an equal and opposite (bad) action.

As Jews, we are *not* commanded to take extreme actions to support others. Give first to your own family, then to your community, then to your city, then to the world. Those who exceed this are noteworthy and admirable, but it is not the standard by which everyone is judged.

An ideal Jewish society, IMHO, is not one in which every individual person adopts one of these children. It is one in which every single one of these children receives compassionate, loving, appropriate care in their family of origin.


 True.  Where I think that the present initiative is appropriate is that the notion of "our community" has become in many ways global.  The world is far more interconnected than it once was.  We are in fact challenged to address needs that would not have made it on the radar in Biblical times.

An ideal society does not have superhuman men and women engaged in amazing feats of compassion.

Why not?  They need not be the majority, but I think that we absolutely do need "everyday heroes" that inspire us all to be our best selves.

 It is one in which public institutions and policies are guided by compassion such that every family with such a child receives the support they need.


Absolutely!  Again, I think that social action in-country is a very important component of the work.  However, I think that adoption serves 2 purposes in this.  First, it rescues the kids that are in dire straits right now, before waiting for the social change to take place.  Second, by demonstrating to society that those children are in fact wanted and valued, these adoptions can catalyze the change in attitudes that we want to bring about.


While you may find few atheists / secularists adopting special needs children, you will find many atheists looking for ways to make people's lives better through science, engineering or public policy. Engineers design wheelchairs and scientists discover new drugs and treatments. One change to a state regulation could mean the difference between a child whose parents can keep them at home and a child who is institutionalized.

These contributions are significant. They are moral actions to help better our world. Do not dismiss them because you prefer dramatic action at the individual level. Both kinds of action are needed to create tikkun olam.

I agree completely!

BBQ and Barchu - Success!

Many people expressed interest in forming a community around the cause of special needs children in foreign orphanages, taking flyers, sharing their own stories, and signing up to be involved!  I am so excited that this is actually happening!!!  Thank you to everyone who showed support.



Next, I am planning an event at my friend's home in Cape Cod, scheduled for August 23. And I am trying to reach out to other congregations in my area as well.

BBQ and Barchu!

I've gone nearly a week without posting, partly because we were away on vacation, and partly because I've been working on my presentation for this evening.  Our congregation will be having evening services at a local park, preceded by a potluck barbecue.  I hope to get people to sign up to be involved in raising awareness and working actively on behalf of children with special needs around the world.   We have a very welcoming congregation already, with several families with special-needs children, as well as adults. 

Wish me luck!

Taking Care of Our Own - by keeping them!

At synagogue services this morning, I spoke about my project with several people, and got some positive responses.  One friend pointed me in the direction of Heart to Heart, run by Rabbi Goldstock, who also has this blog.

Most liberal/secular Jews in this country, like most "cultural" Christians, use prenatal diagnosis and abortion to avoid "having to deal with" a child with Down syndrome.  Orthodox Jews, like religious Christians, are opposed to abortion.  Also, like religious Christians, they tend to have large families and continue to procreate until menopause, resulting in a larger-than-average incidence of Down syndrome.  Unfortunately, in some communities this still causes a social stigma for the parents, who then frequently relinquish these babies for adoption.  Most of the adoptive families are Christian.  Therefore, these precious souls are lost to the Tribe.  Rabbi Goldstock is working to reverse this trend, working with Orthodox families and communities to support them in keeping children with Down syndrome, as well as providing them with educational and other resources as they grow older so that they can stay in and contribute to the community.  He gives the example of a boy who was supported in spearheading an inclusion program in the local Yeshiva (religious school).  Not only did this boy get an incredible advantage from this experience, but his classmates scored well above average on both academic and ethical achievements.  He attributes this to their experience stretching themselves to support a disabled peer.

This highlights two aspects of the Jewish response to orphans:

• First, that we want to help parents in crisis keep their children, so that they do not become orphans in the first place, and
• Second, that when a Jewish child is adopted by non-Jews, while individually it is a good thing, in the big picture this is a loss for the Jewish community, nearly as much as if that child was aborted.

In my project, I hope to reach out to congregations in my community across the religious spectrum, and create a place where we take care of our own -- as well as others.

A different orphanage in Ukraine

State orphanages in Ukraine are depressing, even in the best of cases.  In the worse cases, they are places of neglect, abuse, malnutrition and decay.




A kind reader directed me to an alternative.  A Jewish alternative.

This is Tikva Children's Home in Odessa:




 Tikva rescues Jewish children from state orphanages and institutions.  It saves them from the streets of Ukrainian cities. And it integrates them into a quality Jewish school where intact Odessa Jewish families are proud to send their children.  It gives them the opportunity to develop physically, mentally, socially and spiritually.  And it facilitates graduates to emigrate to Israel, where they can enjoy full citizenship without the social stigma of being Jewish, or of being orphaned.

A Light Onto the Nations.  In action!

Ethics of the Fathers Day 19

The liturgical song "Al Shlosha Dvarim" is drawn from Chapter 1:

The world stands on three things: Torah, the service of G-d, and deeds of kindness.

This is the model of Jewish practice:  Study is very important, hence our reputation as "people of the Book".  We also place a great emphasis on prayer, ritual, and practice.  In some cases this leg of the tripod is misunderstood, or taken out of context -- even by the practitioners themselves!  The view of Jews as preoccupied with "excessive laws" comes from this.  But "deeds of kindness" are just as important.  Jews are disproportionately represented in charitable organizations of all sorts.

 I am right now embarking on a project to motivate my faith community to become more involved in the orphan crisis, as part of my participation in the Landmark Education program.   My goal is to create a supportive environment within the congregation which will educate about and advocate for orphans in need, as well as support families who are taking on a special needs adoption.  I hope that this would become a space where families that are able to do so would be motivated to move forward instead of being overwhelmed and alone.

An orphanage in Israel

Last week I posted a video about a wonderful private Israeli charity that takes care of abandoned babies in hospitals so they are able to be placed in foster care or adoptive homes.

Today I want to share about an Israeli girls' orphanage, run by an organization called Lev La-Lev (Heart to Heart).  Unlike orphanages in many other parts of the world, this is a Children's Home which sees its function in preparing the girls for adult life, not merely warehousing them.

This preparation includes everything, from academic support:



to extracurricular enrichment:


To pre-professional training in computer graphics, fashion design, or nursing:


In addition, the girls are supported in their social and spiritual development, as they celebrate their Bat Mitzvah and prepare to find good husbands once they leave the shelter of the girls' home, so as to break the cycle of abuse and neglect that led to their own abandonment.







This is yet another way that Maimonides' highest form of charity can be fulfilled in the care of orphans today.

A different kind of abandoned baby story

Yesterday I was getting depressed watching video after video of abandoned orphans wasting away in understaffed, unsanitary orphanages and institutions, when I saw a "related video" that caught my eye.  Please watch..... the way it CAN be:

Amen.

Taking care of our own

In an earlier post, I mentioned that while Jewish philanthropy often extends out to the global community, individual charity is usually focused on individuals within the tribe.  For example, when I told my parents that I was thinking about international special needs adoption, my dad said, "Why not take care of our own first?"

It was about that same time that I was reading Shelley Bedford's adoption journey, and I came to this post.

Naum Friedman

 This child was, like so many others in his country, left at the hospital when he was diagnosed with Down syndrome.  And then his parents left that country and moved to Israel!  Yes, Naum Friedman was born Jewish.  Now he is a happy, thriving Christian child named Xander Matthew Bedford.  Yes, he was rescued.  Amazingly and wonderfully so!  But he was also lost forever to the Jewish family.  How many others like him are there?  I often see pictures of children on Reece's Rainbow that seem to have Jewish facial features.  Are they?

Ultimately, though, the point is not that a particular orphan may have been born Jewish.  The point is that once adopted by Jewish parents, he or she IS Jewish.   A convert into Judaism is as much part of the tribe as anyone else,  just as an adopted child is as much part of the family as any other member.  Adopting children -- no matter to whom they were born -- means making them "our own".  And then taking care of them.

Orphans in Judaism

I can see why many religious Christians are motivated to pursue adoption. The New Testament does seem to stress orphan care in many places. But it bothered me to realize that this is not the case among most religious Jews. Why, I wondered. After all, this idea is introduced in the Old Testament.

Judaism is all about community. We are commanded to be a Light unto the Nations, not as individuals, but as a model of society. Traditional Jewish communities are very close-knit and are well set-up to take care of individuals or families that fall on hard times.  We are very much our brothers' keepers.

On the other hand, Judaism is not interested in acquiring converts.  The righteous of all nations have a place in Heaven, so there is no urgent need for gentiles to join the Tribe, as it were. A potential convert to Judaism is traditionally turned away 3 times before a rabbi will agree to begin the process. This process is long and difficult, and requires total commitment. Since Jews see each other as a very large extended family - our interconnectedness through the Patriarchs is very important - conversion basically represents an adoption. We see this exemplified in the book of Ruth, which is read on Shavuot (which just happens to come next week).

This model does not account for children who are not equipped to make that commitment on their own behalf. However, modern interpretations have allowed non-Jewish children to be adopted by Jewish parents, with the parents assuming responsibility for the kids' conversion.

While Judaism does not focus on individual orphan care outside of the faith, many Jews work tirelessly on global community-based charities in pursuit of Tikkun Olam (repairing the world). They raise money to fight hunger in Africa, participate with Doctors Without Borders to bring medical help to disaster areas around the world, and are disproportionately represented in philanthropic organizations of all sorts.

I hope to use my journey - and this blog - to stretch my community in new directions, as I explore Jewish sources that can provide a spiritual framework for special needs adoption.

Who Releaseth Captives from their Bondage

A few months ago I tripped upon ReecesRainbow.org and I have not been the same since.  I have become obsessed with the lives of special needs orphans in other countries.  I have cried for them, prayed for them, and begged my husband to consider adopting one.

But while the blogs of adoptive families have touched, moved and inspired me, I have felt estranged from their authors due to a simple fact.  I am Jewish.  The references to James 1:27, for example, are not part of my spiritual vocabulary.   But it is a fact that the notion of G*d as the Father of the Fatherless has its origins in the Old Testament, the Torah.   So I began to seek ideas within my liturgy that could serve as reference points for my own journey into this new world of special needs adoption.

"Matir Asurim" - "Who Releaseth Captives from their Bondage" - is used to describe G*d at several points in the daily prayer.  It is used in the morning blessings, as well as in the Amidah (the standing prayer), which is recited 3 times each day by religious Jews.  It is very appropriate for describing G*d's role - through us - with respect to innocent children trapped in cribs or institutions, with no future unless they are adopted into loving families.

In this blog I will advocate for orphans from a Jewish perspective, to give another voice to the voiceless.