Nearly 2 years ago, Russia abruptly terminated international adoption to the United States, as well as expelled American NGO's working in orphanages. Many families who were already in process were prevented from completing their adoptions, leaving behind children whom they had already met. Russia's Children's Ombudsman promised that all these children will be well taken care of domestically, including the numerous children with special needs.
Seems that, ahem, more work needs to be done....
http://www.reformtalk.net/2014/09/17/russia-children-with-disabilities-face-violence-and-neglect/
Showing posts with label adoption ban. Show all posts
Showing posts with label adoption ban. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 17, 2014
Friday, December 27, 2013
Haftorah Beam - VaYechi
I'm so behind, it's distressing. Some Haftarot are so inspiring, they just write themselves. The Torah portion for this parsha was pretty fruitful last year. I used it as an opportunity to connect to the Russian ban on international adoption by Americans.
The Haftorah, like the Torah portion, centers around a leader (David vs. Jacob) passing on his legacy. It begins with a grand statement of the power of faith and tradition:
The Haftorah, like the Torah portion, centers around a leader (David vs. Jacob) passing on his legacy. It begins with a grand statement of the power of faith and tradition:
Chapter 21 When David's life was drawing to a close, he instructed his son Solomon as follows: 2 "I am going the way of all the earth; be strong and show yourself a man. 3Keep the charge of the LORD your God, walking in His ways and following His laws, His commandments, His rules, and His admonitions as recorded in the Teaching of Moses, in order that you may succeed in whatever you undertake and wherever you turn. 4 Then the LORD will fulfill the promise that He made concerning me: 'If your descendants are scrupulous in their conduct, and walk before Me faithfully, with all their heart and soul, your line on the throne of Israel shall never end!'The rest of the passage, however, is a litany of allies and enemies, unfinished business that Solomon must take care of before he can be secure in his kingship. David is extremely human in this passage. I did not know what to do with this, until a recent holiday concert (where my husband's new barbershop quartet was one of the featured acts) included this famous tune, which really sums this up for me:
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
It is still happening
Here in the US, orphanages were mostly phased out in the 1970's, as it was determined that foster care provides better opportunities for development in a more family-like environment. Foster care is far from perfect, of course, and many children passing through the system are severely traumatized by repeated reassignments, as well as outright abuse and neglect. It is, however, far superior to the alternative which it replaced.
In most of Eastern Europe, orphan care looks like this: Young babies and toddlers are placed in "Baby Houses", or orphanages for the pre-school set, where they live with their "groupa" and have basic needs met by orphanage staff. The staff may be caring or abusive, depending on the orphanage, but in most places the baby houses are more or less ok.
As they reach school age, healthy, typical children are transferred to an older-child orphanage ("internat"), where they go to school together with their groupa-mates. Children with disabilities (whether mental, physical, or medical), however, are usually transferred to an adult mental institution. Care at these places is usually far, far worse. Most American animal shelters are held to a higher standard than these institutions. Children are routinely underfed and denied medical attention. Many are drugged in order to keep them quiet, tied down to their cribs. Vulnerable and forgotten, they are frequently victimized, beaten and abused by the very people charged with their care.
Fully 85% of special-needs children transferred to adult mental institutions die within their first year there. "Kyle", whose chance to be adopted dropped to near-zero last year when Russia outlawed international adoption to Americans, has joined these statistics this week.
In most of Eastern Europe, orphan care looks like this: Young babies and toddlers are placed in "Baby Houses", or orphanages for the pre-school set, where they live with their "groupa" and have basic needs met by orphanage staff. The staff may be caring or abusive, depending on the orphanage, but in most places the baby houses are more or less ok.
 |
| "Kyle" as an adorable toddler with Down syndrome at a Russian baby house, 2 years ago. |
As they reach school age, healthy, typical children are transferred to an older-child orphanage ("internat"), where they go to school together with their groupa-mates. Children with disabilities (whether mental, physical, or medical), however, are usually transferred to an adult mental institution. Care at these places is usually far, far worse. Most American animal shelters are held to a higher standard than these institutions. Children are routinely underfed and denied medical attention. Many are drugged in order to keep them quiet, tied down to their cribs. Vulnerable and forgotten, they are frequently victimized, beaten and abused by the very people charged with their care.
 |
| "Kyle" shortly after transfer to a mental institution last year. |
Fully 85% of special-needs children transferred to adult mental institutions die within their first year there. "Kyle", whose chance to be adopted dropped to near-zero last year when Russia outlawed international adoption to Americans, has joined these statistics this week.
 |
| Baruch Dayan Emet, "Kyle" |
Monday, May 27, 2013
Following a story
One of the first children who caught my attention on Reece's Rainbow when I first discovered it last year was a little Russian boy with the profile name "Arnold". He was approaching his 4th birthday, at which point he would be likely transferred to an older-children's orphanage with poorer care, or even an adult mental institution. His region only considered families with up to 3 children for placement, so I knew that even if by miracle my family got on board with this idea AND we did all the background paperwork, we would not qualify, but I kept following him as a Mormon family committed to him, finally bringing him home just in the nick of time before Russia stopped adoptions to Americans.
This boy has been home for several months, and I still like to check up on how he is doing, as I follow many stories on my sidebar. On the spectrum of T21 adoptions, he is remarkably high-functioning, and seems to be adapting beautifully to family life. And he is a cutie, too!
This boy has been home for several months, and I still like to check up on how he is doing, as I follow many stories on my sidebar. On the spectrum of T21 adoptions, he is remarkably high-functioning, and seems to be adapting beautifully to family life. And he is a cutie, too!
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Double happy ending/beginning
Two families caught in the Russian Adoption Ban limbo found themselves waiting in the same Moscow hotel for court decrees for their new children. These children are both about 4-5 years old. One is a boy, now known as Gabe Preece:
And the other is a girl, Vika Bonner:
Although these munchkins were in 2 separate orphanages, they are now good friends, embarking on this amazing experience of having a family.
These are examples of children who are rescued from institutional life while still in "Baby Houses", where they get to play, interact with loving caretakers, and develop basic skills. Of course there is still much ground to cover once they get home, in terms of medical care, therapy, level of attention etc., but these are children who can walk, talk, play appropriately, and give and receive affection.
It's fun reading their stories side by side.
And the other is a girl, Vika Bonner:
Although these munchkins were in 2 separate orphanages, they are now good friends, embarking on this amazing experience of having a family.
These are examples of children who are rescued from institutional life while still in "Baby Houses", where they get to play, interact with loving caretakers, and develop basic skills. Of course there is still much ground to cover once they get home, in terms of medical care, therapy, level of attention etc., but these are children who can walk, talk, play appropriately, and give and receive affection.
It's fun reading their stories side by side.
Saturday, January 19, 2013
What is a baby?
Why are so many children waiting year after year in foster care, orphanages and institutions around the world? Why, when so many childless couples wait year after year, too, spending tens of thousands of dollars on infertility treatments, surrogacy arrangements, and infant adoptions?
Of course, the answer is that parents want, first of all, a child who is like them, and of them. Genetically related. THEIR KID. If not, let it be an infant, so the experience will at least approximate a biological child arriving. THEIR EXPERIENCE. All about THEM.
What about the kid? Does a child come into the world for the benefit of the parents, or are the parents there for the benefit of the child? A secular worldview tries to collapse these perspectives onto each other: Having the child is the parents' choice, but having made the choice, the parents have the responsibility to provide the child's needs to maturity. This worldview allows for great license for amateur eugenics, as parents select bio-parents from sperm-banks or surrogacy registries, or selectively abort fetuses of the wrong gender, or with inconvenient abnormalities. How does one "flip the switch" from thinking of the child as a product to be procured to specifications, to accepting the child for who he/she is, with all the vicissitudes of a normal childhood and adolescence?
A religious worldview can sometimes bypass this, by recognizing all children as "gifts" from G*d. We do not pick and choose our gifts. We do not return a gift that has been specially ordered and personalized for us. We do not discard gifts that have been given to us by those whom we love and esteem. If such a gift is bestowed upon us and requires care and nurturing, we will do all in our power to prove ourselves worthy of it.
In the second blessing after the Shema, we read,
I am currently watching two adoption stories unfold, featuring older children with Down syndrome and severe institutionalized effects. Both families are large families which have adopted before. Both families see these children, long rejected by conventional adopters, as precious gifts every bit as uniquely bestowed upon them as the children they have conceived and birthed themselves.
Here are the Mussers, who have just completed their first trip to adopt 15-year-old Tommy, who is scheduled to come home in April/May. They have nine biological children, ranging in age from 2 to 18. Their youngest was born with Down syndrome. Just over a year ago they rescued their daughter Katie from the Pleven orphanage. At almost 10 years old, she weighed barely 10 lbs. The story of her recovery and blossoming in the past year is nothing short of miraculous.
Here are the Salems, who are presently in the final stages of bringing home 14-year-old Hasya and 9-year-old Kael, both of whom have Down syndrome. Like Katie and Tommy, these children have suffered horribly, not because of their disabilities per se, but because of how their disabilities are seen by a society that views children as valuable only if they meet its specifications. Both are tiny for their ages, and severely delayed. Hasya, like Katie before her, has not been permitted to grow beyond the size of a young infant. She is currently struggling to gain nutrition without succumbing to refeeding syndrome. Kael, who was in a different institution, is doing much better, though he is still only the size of an average 3-year-old.
These and other families are taking on the children whom they recognize as "the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself", who welcome the children to come through them though they are not of them.
What is a baby? A baby is a human being coming to the world, and meeting his/her family for the first time. In reading various people's adoption stories, I am repeatedly struck by the idea that a child coming into a family - at whatever age - is in many ways like a newborn. They may or may not be walking, talking, or toileting yet, but emotionally they are at square one. Many families report very good results by "regressing" their new child, so that s/he can cover the lost emotional ground. Katie, a year later, is in many ways comparable to a one-year-old. In some ways she is way ahead of a one-year-old! She has grown to the size of a 3 or 4-year-old, she is learning to toilet herself, and so on.
Russia is not likely to approve any new adoptions at this point, although it is hoped that the proposed amendment to make an exception for special needs will be passed speedily. However, many older children are waiting in Ukraine, Bulgaria, China, and many other countries, in conditions just as deplorable as Pleven. U.S. foster care provides for over 100,000 children each year, most of whom have no disability except their age, in conditions which are incomparably better. These children go to school, receive full medical care, and enjoy a semblance of family life. Yet emotionally, they need parents who will baby them, make up the lost time, and allow them to reach their true potential.
Why, then, do they wait? These gifts, these babies frozen in time? A newborn baby is no less a bundle of needs than a child scarred by loss and neglect.
One of the prayers of Yom Kippur calls upon us to see ourselves as raw material in G*d's hands, to be fashioned into a work of art through the process of repentance and good deeds. Khalil Gibran once again echoes Jewish liturgy when he writes:
Of course, the answer is that parents want, first of all, a child who is like them, and of them. Genetically related. THEIR KID. If not, let it be an infant, so the experience will at least approximate a biological child arriving. THEIR EXPERIENCE. All about THEM.
What about the kid? Does a child come into the world for the benefit of the parents, or are the parents there for the benefit of the child? A secular worldview tries to collapse these perspectives onto each other: Having the child is the parents' choice, but having made the choice, the parents have the responsibility to provide the child's needs to maturity. This worldview allows for great license for amateur eugenics, as parents select bio-parents from sperm-banks or surrogacy registries, or selectively abort fetuses of the wrong gender, or with inconvenient abnormalities. How does one "flip the switch" from thinking of the child as a product to be procured to specifications, to accepting the child for who he/she is, with all the vicissitudes of a normal childhood and adolescence?
A religious worldview can sometimes bypass this, by recognizing all children as "gifts" from G*d. We do not pick and choose our gifts. We do not return a gift that has been specially ordered and personalized for us. We do not discard gifts that have been given to us by those whom we love and esteem. If such a gift is bestowed upon us and requires care and nurturing, we will do all in our power to prove ourselves worthy of it.
In the second blessing after the Shema, we read,
And you shall inscribe them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates - so that your days and the days of your children may be prolonged on the land which the L-rd swore to your fathers to give to them for as long as the heavens are above the earth.I love that the inheritance is passed from our fathers to our children. We have the responsibility to maintain for our children that which we might be tempted to dispose of ourselves. This is echoed in Khalil Gibran's famous poem:
Your children are not your children.What, then, of all those waiting children? The older children, the sibling groups, the children with physical and developmental disabilities, with delays, with chronic medical conditions? Whose gifts are they?
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
I am currently watching two adoption stories unfold, featuring older children with Down syndrome and severe institutionalized effects. Both families are large families which have adopted before. Both families see these children, long rejected by conventional adopters, as precious gifts every bit as uniquely bestowed upon them as the children they have conceived and birthed themselves.
Here are the Mussers, who have just completed their first trip to adopt 15-year-old Tommy, who is scheduled to come home in April/May. They have nine biological children, ranging in age from 2 to 18. Their youngest was born with Down syndrome. Just over a year ago they rescued their daughter Katie from the Pleven orphanage. At almost 10 years old, she weighed barely 10 lbs. The story of her recovery and blossoming in the past year is nothing short of miraculous.
Here are the Salems, who are presently in the final stages of bringing home 14-year-old Hasya and 9-year-old Kael, both of whom have Down syndrome. Like Katie and Tommy, these children have suffered horribly, not because of their disabilities per se, but because of how their disabilities are seen by a society that views children as valuable only if they meet its specifications. Both are tiny for their ages, and severely delayed. Hasya, like Katie before her, has not been permitted to grow beyond the size of a young infant. She is currently struggling to gain nutrition without succumbing to refeeding syndrome. Kael, who was in a different institution, is doing much better, though he is still only the size of an average 3-year-old.
These and other families are taking on the children whom they recognize as "the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself", who welcome the children to come through them though they are not of them.
What is a baby? A baby is a human being coming to the world, and meeting his/her family for the first time. In reading various people's adoption stories, I am repeatedly struck by the idea that a child coming into a family - at whatever age - is in many ways like a newborn. They may or may not be walking, talking, or toileting yet, but emotionally they are at square one. Many families report very good results by "regressing" their new child, so that s/he can cover the lost emotional ground. Katie, a year later, is in many ways comparable to a one-year-old. In some ways she is way ahead of a one-year-old! She has grown to the size of a 3 or 4-year-old, she is learning to toilet herself, and so on.
Russia is not likely to approve any new adoptions at this point, although it is hoped that the proposed amendment to make an exception for special needs will be passed speedily. However, many older children are waiting in Ukraine, Bulgaria, China, and many other countries, in conditions just as deplorable as Pleven. U.S. foster care provides for over 100,000 children each year, most of whom have no disability except their age, in conditions which are incomparably better. These children go to school, receive full medical care, and enjoy a semblance of family life. Yet emotionally, they need parents who will baby them, make up the lost time, and allow them to reach their true potential.
Why, then, do they wait? These gifts, these babies frozen in time? A newborn baby is no less a bundle of needs than a child scarred by loss and neglect.
One of the prayers of Yom Kippur calls upon us to see ourselves as raw material in G*d's hands, to be fashioned into a work of art through the process of repentance and good deeds. Khalil Gibran once again echoes Jewish liturgy when he writes:
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.
Monday, January 14, 2013
I can't say it better myself
This is truly awe-inspiring, and Julia does a great job of photo-journalism here. I have nothing to add.
Thursday, January 10, 2013
One Year
It seems that Russia has decided to honor the bilateral agreement reached last year, and delay putting the ban on adoption by Americans until January 2014.
This is great news! There are nearly 50 American families who have already completed all the legal steps of their Russian adoptions -- their children have been assigned to them legally by Russian courts -- who have been holding their breaths for the last 2 weeks for fear that they would not be permitted to bring their children home. They will now be able to do so. There are hundreds of other families at various stages in the process, who will also (hopefully) be able to complete their adoptions.
This is also a window of opportunity for the rest of us. One year. One year in which to complete a home-study, submit a dossier, and make 3 trips to Russia to bring home a child before the gates shut. Yes, there are many needy orphans elsewhere in the world, including here in U.S. foster care. A year later they will be.... a year older. A year later, Russian orphans will no longer be eligible for adoption by Americans. Americans have consistently adopted more Russian children than any other country. Being wealthier on average means that we can better afford the costs of adoption than most Europeans. We have extensive medical and educational facilities for addressing the special needs of most adoptees.
Let us take action in 2013 -- reach out to our communities, and support families who are willing to take this leap -- maybe even take this leap ourselves! Let's see how many Russian orphans can be rescued this year.
And who knows, the law might just be amended or abolished in the meantime.
This is great news! There are nearly 50 American families who have already completed all the legal steps of their Russian adoptions -- their children have been assigned to them legally by Russian courts -- who have been holding their breaths for the last 2 weeks for fear that they would not be permitted to bring their children home. They will now be able to do so. There are hundreds of other families at various stages in the process, who will also (hopefully) be able to complete their adoptions.
This is also a window of opportunity for the rest of us. One year. One year in which to complete a home-study, submit a dossier, and make 3 trips to Russia to bring home a child before the gates shut. Yes, there are many needy orphans elsewhere in the world, including here in U.S. foster care. A year later they will be.... a year older. A year later, Russian orphans will no longer be eligible for adoption by Americans. Americans have consistently adopted more Russian children than any other country. Being wealthier on average means that we can better afford the costs of adoption than most Europeans. We have extensive medical and educational facilities for addressing the special needs of most adoptees.
Let us take action in 2013 -- reach out to our communities, and support families who are willing to take this leap -- maybe even take this leap ourselves! Let's see how many Russian orphans can be rescued this year.
And who knows, the law might just be amended or abolished in the meantime.
Saturday, December 22, 2012
Russian adoption ban
The lower house of the Russian Duma (parliament) has just passed a ban on adoptions by Americans by a huge margin. It will now be up for vote in the upper house, and then a signature from President Putin. According to pre-existing treaties between the 2 countries, such a ban could not go into effect for one year after passage, but even so, it would spell doom for the thousands of children who would remain in orphanages and institutions instead of finding loving families.
As reported here, 70% of all adoptions in Russia are domestic (i.e. by Russian families). However, most (but not all) of these are of healthier, younger children. Older children, as well as children with disabilities or chronic illnesses, if they are adopted at all, are generally adopted internationally, by American or European families.
One issue is that there have been various documented cases of abuse and/or neglect of these adopted children, including 19 well-publicized deaths in the past 10 years. However, to put this number into perspective, over 1000 domestically-adopted Russian children have died in a similar time frame.
Here are some of my previous posts about Russian orphans. These kids are desperately in need of families to love them and give them the medical and educational opportunities that will enable them to live full lives.
Please sign this online petition to appeal to Putin to VETO this ban, so that these children can find families!
As reported here, 70% of all adoptions in Russia are domestic (i.e. by Russian families). However, most (but not all) of these are of healthier, younger children. Older children, as well as children with disabilities or chronic illnesses, if they are adopted at all, are generally adopted internationally, by American or European families.
One issue is that there have been various documented cases of abuse and/or neglect of these adopted children, including 19 well-publicized deaths in the past 10 years. However, to put this number into perspective, over 1000 domestically-adopted Russian children have died in a similar time frame.
Here are some of my previous posts about Russian orphans. These kids are desperately in need of families to love them and give them the medical and educational opportunities that will enable them to live full lives.
Please sign this online petition to appeal to Putin to VETO this ban, so that these children can find families!
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